They are looking for men not to provide for them, but to have some ambition, or at least motivation to improve their situations.
I wrote a post a while back about gold-diggers, which is still getting a lot more hits on my blog than any post since.
In it, I asked the question: is it wrong for successful women to want men with ambition and financial stability?
The men who wrote me seem to interpret a woman’s desire to be with someone financially stable as out to take everything away from him, regardless of whether or not this is true.
I feel badly if they’ve had experiences of being taken advantage of, or betrayed, or duped by a woman in some way.
So for all of you who’ve become cynical daters, believing that love doesn’t exist or that people are too focused on the prize to know what they really want, take heart in the fact that people will continue to surprise you and prove you wrong.
Lots of men wrote me to complain that I’m a proponent of gold-digging women. I’m sure a lot of men have encountered women who are only after money in relationships – but how the operate isn’t reflective of how most women think or act.
Most women want to feel connected to their partners and want to be successful in their own right, not to be taken care of by a man.
Now, I’m friends with single women who have good careers, nice places to live, travel money, etc. But they do get frustrated when they meet men who aren’t financially stable – meaning, my friends end up paying when they go out.
They plan the romantic getaways and cover the charges, or in one instance, put a roof over a boyfriend’s head when he can’t find a job.