They kind of just say, “relax,” and try to shove it in.
It’s that second ring, the involuntary muscle (less than a quarter inch from the outer voluntary one) that causes most of the pain in male anal sex. If you can’t, you’ll punch your partner into the next room. You’d be a better top (because you’d know what it’s like to bottom). ) , a colon rectal specialist and a urologist to find the best solutions for you. Why does your penis sometimes go soft when you bottom? started my career by syndicating a sex and relationships column all over the country and I sort of became known as the “East Coast Dan Savage.” I then went on to write my first gay sex book, Men Are Pigs But We Love Bacon (Kensington). It led to my biggest book yet, Sex Inspectors Master Class: How To Have An Amazing Sex Life (Penguin). I love to see barriers crack and humanity come to the surface. Want to take a sneak peek at some of the chapters in my book?
Or maybe they’re endlessly patient, but nothing works—it’s too painful or it doesn’t feel right.
You might also be struggling with the “ick factor.” A lot of guys are grossed out by anal sex.
And that’s exactly what my gay anal sex instant download guide shows you how to do.
But before we get to that, there’s another thing you need to know: Your sphincter has two muscle rings.
There was little or no pleasure, a lot of pain and no sense of why so many guys like to bottom. Everyone else seems to experience sexual ecstasy when they bottom but all you experience is pain and weirdness.
At first there was a kind of an unbearable burning sensation mixed with a terrible pressure and then you stopped because of the pain. Or maybe you relaxed enough to get it all in but it felt weird, like you were going to take a dump on yourself.
If you don’t know how to get clean down there, the smell and the potential to leave tire tracks behind you can put you off completely. The pubo-rectal sling pulls the rectum in an “S” curve.
It could be that you’ve never even tried to bottom. The more pronounced the “S” curve the more pain you’ll experience with anal intercourse.